The tweet below deeply irritated me…
It genuinely disgusted me that a White woman would fix her fingers to send Solange (or any Black woman for that matter, but yes I am a Solange stan) such a disrespectful tweet.
This is not a tweet where Solange’s control over her own body is not in question (Black women can ultimately choose what they want to do with their hair), such as a question asking does she like natural hair more than relaxed hair etc. This is one where a White woman basically asserted that Solange is not beautiful without a relaxer, especially in an age where many Black women are going natural and an age where the politicization and dehumanization of Black bodies still remains an issue.
I love Solange’s response and she simply blocked the woman and went on with her fabulous life. (The woman then tweeted a screen capture of Solange blocking her. Really. She couldn’t stop with this first tweet.)
Then yesterday, I watched a video by wordwarfare (B. Marie) on Tumblr where she proceeded to describe conversation after conversation with her mother’s White nurse; the woman seemed to NOT KNOW WHEN TO QUIT. Insults and quasi-compliments as racial microaggressions and some overt racism seemed to be how this woman made small talk about B. Marie’s natural hair. This included her claiming that Whites have “good hair” and “bad hair” too (totally eschewing the politicization and dehumanization along with White supremacy and colourism that creates this dichotomy for Black people) and repeatedly questioning her care regimen.
White privilege is why White women do not have to know when to quit; they’re reared to believe that they are the standard of beauty coupled with the idea that their opinion matters more and should be inserted anywhere, because they are White.
Between seeing these two incidents and the oh so many incidents that I have had with White women regarding my hair (including trying to touch it, as if they are entitled to put their hands on my body), I’ve come back to that place…that question about White women, Black women and interpersonal relationships. I cannot have any with ones who are not intersectional feminists that I’ve personally vetted. I’ve tried. I no longer try. I don’t have any White friends, but it certainly isn’t because I never tried.
I can (and do) have relationships with some Black women who aren’t womanist/feminist. Why? Because regardless of the differing ideology, I’ve not encountered any Black women who view me as an immediate inferior, a science experiment to appropriate from or destroy, or a threat to their concept of beauty. Even when dealing with ones who are patriarchal and colourist—the experiences still have not left me with the stress that the experiences with insensitive and racist White women have.
Situations like these (and the plethora of microaggressions and overt racism that I’ve dealt with from them) are why I simply do not want to have conversations about my hair with White women…like ever. We don’t have anything to discuss.
Related Posts: 7 Things To STOP Saying To Black Women About Beauty, Black Women Do Not Have To Reject Any Mention Of Beauty To Be Womanist/Feminist, White Women In Black Natural Hair Spaces, Natural Hair IS For Everybody
So there ya go. Riley being gross and having a thing for white women. Further proof you don’t need to be scared of Riley if you’re white
